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Fifty years after the birth of feminism, when its promise of gender liberation seemed closer and more distant than ever before, the word mansplaining arose to describe male domination of speech. Derived from an essay by the journalist Rebecca Solnit, mansplaining started as a joke, then appeared on the New York Times "word of the year" list and was added to the Oxford English Really need a woman to talk too.

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The word succeeded because it describes a common social scenario so aptly. Solnit's inspiration was a man at a party who, on learning that she had written a book about the film pioneer Eadweard Muybridge, lectured her on a recent wonan about Muybridge, which happened to be Solnit's book.

The stereotype being that women, not men, have too much say. Men were encouraged to talk more, not less, particularly around women. Don't stare at men or talk too much. Especially if she's read the Girl's Rules that tell her to do this, you won't have to worry about long phone calls. . If you suspect that some really attractive girl is following The Rules for girls, take heart. I'm a man, and I've been sensitive to accusations that I talk too much ever Perhaps some women are genuinely thrilled to have their own.

It was yet another case of a man, confronted with a knowledgeable woman, displaying his knowledge to the maximum. We have all witnessed similar scenes. Solnit argued that these tiny but ubiquitous social interactions amount, in aggregate, to a politics of silence.

In ways big and small, men have too Really need a woman to talk too say, she wrote in "Men Explain Things to Me. But there is an empirical question that Solnit never addressed in that book: Do men in fact talk more than women? In tzlk book, "The Female Brain," the neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine claimed that the average woman uses nearly three times as many words as the average man. Other researchers disagreed vociferously. At the University of Arizona, a group of sociologists attached voice recorders to participants and found no statistical difference in how much men and women spoke.

Do men really talk too much? - Los Angeles Times

The stereotype being that women, not men, have too much say. If men and women are from different tribes or different planets, then we are doomed to a permanent stand-off.

InHarvard researchers using electronic monitoring found Rfally men and women spoke more or less depending on the size of the group and the setting. While collaborating on Really need a woman to talk too work project in groups of seven or fewer, women talked more and men talked less. During a lunch break, women spoke more when they were in large groups, and men talked more when they were in small groups.

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A recent California State University study of email exchanges, measuring number of words per message and number of messages per exchange, found that women wrote more than men across tqlk range of situations, in both work and personal messages. The researchers concluded that "electronic communications may level the playing field, or even give females an advantage, in certain communication situations. Who talks more has been one Realky the traditional battlegrounds in Woodway, Texas, TX, 76712 gender wars.

At the beginning of the feminist revolution, male reserve rather than male speech was the symptom of failure. Inthe sociologists Jack Balswick and Charles Peek wrote Really need a woman to talk too "The Inexpressive Male" that "as sex role distinctions have developed in America, the male sex role, as compared to the female sex role, carries with it prescriptions which encourage inexpressiveness. For the men courageous and sensitive enough to recognize the import of the feminist revolution, the first requirement was expression: Men were encouraged to talk more, not less, particularly around women.

The irony probably won't comfort Solnit, but the man blathering on at that party is, in certain respects, the result of this conscious program to overcome gender restrictions, Sbm iso ltr marriage minded make men give more of themselves.

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The irony runs deeper than awkward scenes at parties. The entire discussion of mansplaining operates on the assumption that people who talk more socially are demonstrating more power.

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They aren't. Reserved speech has been the marker of masculine power for millennia. The strong silent type has an ancient pedigree.

Baldessare Castiglione in "The Book of the Courtier," the guide to gentlemanly etiquette popular across Europe during the Renaissance, advised as early as that a gentleman keeps everything but his most certain opinions to himself: In the early 16th century, men and women both were laughing at men who talked too much about things they didn't understand.

And that is the correct response to the guy tk told Solnit about her own book: Really need a woman to talk too at him because he's weak.

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I recognize that I Rezlly now mansplaining mansplaining. Behind that absurdity lies a despair that has haunted the feminist revolution from the beginning: Despair over language is the deepest despair.

If equality eludes us even in our words, how can we dream of justice in our bodies? The classic books of intergender linguistics have always betrayed a shared hopelessness, even in their titles: The battle of the sexes will be never-ending and the gender wars ongoing and irresolvable.

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But our language fails us most of all when it comes to describing the state of gender itself. We have used the word war to describe the historical process of men and women beginning to live together as equals. We have used battle to describe the advent of deeper intimacies and more just laws.

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The language of conflict is no wooman useful. The future can belong only to men and women together. The most vital, the most profound changes in the lives of men and women have occurred in their lives together: Gloria Steinem's famous declaration is true: Real liberation is men and women together.

That means men will have to do some of the explaining. Stephen Marche is a novelist and columnist.

His latest book is "T he Unmade Made: Follow the Opinion section on Twitter latimesopinion or Facebook. Skip to content.

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Who owns more social capital, a talkative "mansplainer," or a strong silent type?